So Big, So Fast

Yes, it is true! Our baby boy turned three years old on the 15th. It is amazing to us that these last three years have gone by so quickly. I hear that it only goes by quicker as they get older...hard to believe but I am sure it is true.

As you can see, our lil' man of the day chose a Thomas and Friends birthday party. This little engineer is overtaken with trains. He barely participated in the other activities at the party because he was so consumed with his new train table full of his favorite steam engines. It was not easy but we were able to pry him away to blow out his candles and open his gifts. We were all blessed to have close family and friends around us to celebrate our sweet boy.

I do believe fun was had by all, painting trains, making steam out of cotton balls, playing pin the number on Thomas, and playing outside. All of the lil' engineers took home their train painting, train whistles, balloons, stickers and more! Happy Birthday to Evan, we love you to the moon and back...and farther. You are truly a gift from God.

Meeska, Mooska

It's Mickey Mouse! And Minnie, too, of course!

Both of them had a fun time dressing up as two of there favorite characters. They were great sports and left their costumes and accessories on without a fight. We had a busy night visiting six different homes of family, friends, and teachers.

Our parents spoil them and love having fun doing it. So not only did they get candy, they also received treats that were far to big to fit into their Halloween baskets.

Some of there most favorite Halloween treats were: the Mickey and Minnie that teaches them shapes, colors, and letters; their dollar bills; Evan loved his apple; M&Ms; books; popcorn; and whales.

anxiously awaiting at grammy and poppy's front door

one of their favorite treats, mickey and minnie

tricking granny franny and paw paw

evan couldn't wait to knock on granny franny's door, although it was a bit hard with the mickey hands

a very happy minnie mouse

At a Glance

There is not enough time, it seems these days, to do everything I would love to do in a 24 hour time frame...which leaves me with little time on the laptop.

I spent a little bit of time putting recent photos into a collage and now am posting them to share. Instead of having tons of individual pictures, I thought this may work better.
Our last month...at a glance.


banebow 5k weekend at montgomery bell state park

If you have read this blog at all, then you know of Bane's story. If not, then click here. This past weekend was a weekend of celebration, sorrow, thankfulness, grieving, smiles, and love. It began on Bane's first birthday, Saturday, October 23rd. As 300+ party hat-wearing people came to show their love and support to Banebow, Drason, Sonya, and Livi, it couldn't have been any better! I wish you could have been there if you missed it. To see the gleam of love, hope, and gratefulness from their faces, it gave me a warm heart on this hard, hard milestone of a day.

After the 5k was said and done, clean up in a jiffy...there was something special. Some of the closests of closests gathered at Lake Woodhaven to give Sonya, Drason, and Livi a
"birthday present" on Bane's birthday.

A tree. Picked and planted (with certain permission) with love as a symbol of Bane's life still with us on this earth. To watch: him grow as his branches lengthen and give life to new blooms each spring. To admire: his beauty in each season of life. To nurture: as we would have nurtured Bane with love and care. To love: because we still love him so.

Ending the weekend with camping by some, we gathered Sunday morning for "church" at campsite. These friends of mine, they are like no other. Radical for Christ. Not afraid to bare all. Speaking raw truth. We praised God for our group and asked that our work not be done,
but just beginning.

being silly at home


One night at home, after a long day of work for the both of us, we started to play and just be silly.
It occurred to me that I hadn't taken pictures in a while, so I grabbed my camera and snapped a few of the PevaCrew.

Some of football's BIGGEST FANS...Evan and Kate. Let's just say we have
Tennesse Pride!
As soon as the play clock is ticking, Evan is saying, "hut. hut. hut."

Bex turns 3

One of Evan's bestest buddies, a fellow petite, Beckham. A few captured moments from this crazy race car driver's party. Fun times had by all.

Happy Birthday to You...

Bane Alton Drake Beasley. One day old. 10/24/09

Happy Birthday to You.

Happy Birthday, dear Bane.

Happy Birthday to you.


Bane,

You captured our hearts the moment you entered this world and though they are broken today, you will always be with us, in our hearts. Always. As we sang to you today, I imagined you with your birthday crown on top of your soft curly hair. We miss you sweet boy, miss you so with heartache.

xoxoxoxxx

Brotherly Love

One morning at Grandy's house
when she overheard this sweet, little
voice say, "Kate, do you want a bite?"
Grandy acted quickly and caught it in the making.

He has it written all over him, brotherly love. In fact, he is smitten with his little sister.

He starts off the mornings getting to wake her up by crawling up on her crib and saying "Wake up, pooh bear," and they share giggles. He lets her get in the middle of his trains without making a fuss even though she usually escapes with two of them in hand. Every day when I pick him up from preschool his first question is, "Can we go get Kate?" He reads Goodnight Moon to her. He kisses her nite-nite. He includes her in his bedtime prayers, "Thank you for Kate." They have even begun the fun floor- wrestling matches where giggles are abundant. What can I say, he hearts his sis.

Thankfulness (part two):

• for the feeling of Kate's head on my shoulder and her chest on mine during the middle of the night when she needs some extra comfort and cuddles.
• for the tight neck-squeezing hugs from Evan.
• for my husband: knowing how to play hard and work hard (especially on a build-it-yourself playset)
• for a date night with my hubby where we didn't think twice about ordering what we really wanted along with a glass of wine...and for the ones that helped make it happen (Lolly & Grandy).
  
• for the giving lady working at Kroger's who took extra time, without request, and without charging me extra to make a special purchase even more special (playing the Bane Bane game without even knowing it or Bane).
• for the time spending the day with my mother and then dinner with my sister and my niece which is regretfully becoming a rarity with busy schedules.
• for a couple of "five-minute-catch-up-with-friends" phone calls I have had this week.
• for a family trip up to Murray, KY tomorrow to attend a "petite" birthday party.
• for the "life lessons" I have experienced over the last couple of months...lessons that you have learned so well that you are living them out daily or so you think and then when the unthinkable happens, realizing that there is a lot more to life than you have ever thought previously. And now, I think about the more-to-life part, everyday.
• for these two below:
  

Friends are Friends Forever

Inspired by a little baby boy: to live, to love fully and wholeheartedly because "you just never know."

Below is a clip of the latest post on Bane's blog.


"Friend" is a word that gets kicked around too easily, perhaps, as our lives spread us wide and thin. Too busy to porch-linger and sit a spell. Too tired to phone-chat and catch up. Perhaps you've even "friended" someone on Facebook who you don't really particularly like very much. Just the way it goes.

What if, though, we said friendship and meant it with the heart and sincerity of a two-year-old big sister? What if friendship looked more like the passionate, drooly kisses of a baby brother than the once-a-year Christmas card?

A man who has friends

must himself be friendly,

But there is a friend who sticks

closer than a brother.

(Proverbs 18:24, NKJV)

Use these next few days to tell a friend how much they mean to you. Let's live more as friends.

Me Too.

If you haven't read or don't follow her blog...you must. She has a gift. A gift that will warm your soul. Click here to be in awe.

It is so hard to put into words...the past six weeks. She speaks the truth when she writes:

"this again? this heavy, again? are we not over this yet?

[sigh]

we are not over this yet."

No, we are not over this yet. And you ask, will we ever be? Probably not.

You see, Bane wasn't biologically our child. But he was our child. When you are connected with a deep friendship that was born years, decades ago, their children are also your children. We love them as much, we discipline them when needed, we hug and kiss on them as if their cheeks were our own flesh. This is why, our hearts are still so heavy.

If they weren't heavy...it would mean that we didn't LOVE enough. I don't expect everyone to understand. Even I don't understand at times why I can feel my heart break into two out of the blue. Sometimes it is sparked by a song. This past week it was sparked by consignment preparation. As I was going through Evan's clothes, every garment I inspected I thought: this is Bane's size for the winter; these Robeez boots would have fit him perfectly; this little Polo outfit, he would've rocked...and tears streamed because I couldn't give Sonya a Publix bag full of hand-me-downs for Bane.

Instead, I went through the hand-me-downs that Bane did wear. A friend of Sonya is going to make a blanket of Bane's garments for her and I wanted her to have some of the things he had worn of Evan's. I held them up, looked for little Baney hairs intertwined in the fabric just to see if I could catch a glimpse of him, and I smelled the collars of each piece. Why? Because. I guess it's part of healing. It is a tangible, material connection of his sweet face, that we miss so much. And tears flow now.

There is no time limit on grief. There are no "who's to say enough is enough or get over it." And while this grief is real, it doesn't compare to Bane's mommy, daddy, and big sis. While this grief is real, there are blessings and promises that are real, too and they don't go without recognition.

I am so thankful for all of my blessings that I am undeserving of. I do have joy, laughter, and smiles in the midst of this heavy heart. I see all things differently. I see a soul sister who is grieving unimaginably, who is glorifying God, who is loving on her husband, who is celebrating life, and who is heartbroken because a huge piece of her is not here on this earth with her.

Bane's first birthday is around the corner. We will celebrate him, his life, and his legacy. If you want to come to his party, you are invited. Click here for an invitation.



Warm thoughts,