Whew! and Five Months

I have new thankfulness for my husband. I have always known and recognized how much he gives to our family but tonight, I realize just how much he REALLY brings to us. He has been gone this week, out of town working diligently. It hasn't been all that easy this week considering that I have a full time job, have a two year old in pre-school, a sixteen month old that has been unwell, and juggling all of it by myself. T.I.R.E.D.

He amazes me. He loves on Evan and Kate the moment he walks through our back door and doesn't stop until it's bed time and I can tell...that they are missing him. We have talked to daddy every night on the phone and we have said our nite nite prayers with daddy via the phone. It is not near as good as having him here blowing raspberries on their bellies. Counting down the hours until I hear "It's DADDY!!!"

Onto Five Months:

At Evan's first birthday party, my friends Sonya and Drason brought their Olivia to celebrate. I remember standing in the kitchen when Drason came over to make baby-googly eyes at my 17 week-popping-baby bump. Who would have known that a few months later, I would be making those same eyes to Sonya's baby bump.

When the four of us girls had Annie, Beckham, Evan, and Olivia, we knew of the great fun and memories that were ahead with all of them being just one to three months apart in age. When I found out that Sonya was pregnant again, that we were having round two of the petites, I was so quick to relive those thoughts and dreams of baby Pevahouse and baby Beasley growing up as friends...pre-arranged friends, just like the other four.

Those thoughts of Kate and Bane running around, falling down, crying, eating each other's yogurt bites, and swapping hugs and kisses are no more. What we would give to have those moments back and for more of them. Bane and Kate shared some similarities, for one, their beautiful brown eyes; for two, their body weight. Baney Bane was a big boy, a football kind. Kate is just her right size. Mix those together and they are equal.

Tonight, I saw Bane in Kate. Seated at the restaurant's outdoor table, Kate's brown eyes started to tear and her cry rang out loud. I had to make a quick dash to the car to retrieve her sippy cup of milk. Upon my return, I not only found Kate crying, but my dear friend, Sonya was crying as well.

She sees her Baney Bane when she sees Kate. She hears her Baney Bane when she hears Kate. She feels her Baney Bane when she feels Kate. Though they were separated by five months of age, there wasn't a lot of difference in their mannerisms. Little detailed mannerisms that only a mamma can love and appreciate.


It hurts to see her hurt. It hurt when we were counting all of the kids tonight to figure out how many highchairs and booster seats we needed, only to not count one. It hurt to see Evan, Liv, Kate, and Bex run around laughing and yelling and Nellie in her carrier when one is missing in the mix. It hurt to have three asking for the potty and two in diapers, when there should be three asking for the potty and three in diapers. It hurt when Livi climbed into my car to give Evan and Kate bye-bye love only to have her point to the second car seat and ask me "Is that her brother's car seat?" IT HURTS.

My friend is hurting. Her husband is hurting. That is why I am going to ask you for your prayers in lifting up this family. Their wind is still being knocked out of them every day.

While they are hurting, there is joy to be spoken of, for the ways that Bane's life has blessed many that he left behind; for the ways that Sonya and Drason are blessing those around them even if they don't realize it; for the realization that OUR DAYS ARE NUMBERED and that isn't a bad thing; for the joy is eternal life and eternal life is where BANE IS.